Single Test

Core conversation Number two, focused intention. This is a conversation you need to have with yourself as well as with your kids. What do you want Your brain makes happen. What it sees. You have to tell your brain what you want, clearly, specifically, and repeatedly. Ask yourself what type of parent or grandparent you wanna be and what type of kids or grandkids do you want to raise? As a parent and grandparent, I want to be present. My father was mostly gone when I grew up and we didn’t have a great relationship until much later in life. I also wanna be firm and kind. Remember these two words and almost everything you do as a parent or grandparent will work out firm. When you say something, mean it and back it up, but do it in a kind way with empathy and compassion. Kindness is not giving into tantrums because it makes them more likely to happen. If you allow kids young or old to manipulate you through anger or even anxiety, you teach them. That’s how they get their way. The rule in our family is if you have a tantrum to get your way, the answer’s no. It will always be no. Go ahead and throw the tantrum if you wanna test it when they find out it doesn’t work and make sure it doesn’t work. Kids generally find a better way to control themselves. Good parents are like good coaches or good bosses. They notice what you do right and teach when you could do better. They inspire and motivate while maintaining positive relationships. They’re flexible and always learning. Ineffective parents, like bad coaches or lousy bosses, think of the worst boss you have ever had. They notice what you do wrong and never let you forget it. They demoralize. Those around them are rigid, negative, and believe they are always right. After you write down the type of parent you wanna be, write down what type of children you wanna raise. We wanna raise mentally strong kids who are responsible, competent, and resilient. Likewise, have this conversation with your kids. Ask them to write down what they want in their relationships. School, money and health: clarity of goals brings more intentional behavior.