| Some types of masculinity are toxic, especially when men are taught to suppress their feelings, and not to value kindness and compassion… Is there a link between shame and male violence? This film explores how men see themselves, how they relate to people they care about and how the personal impacts the political. What happens when men are taught to disconnect from their feelings to be strong? |
New: Beyond Men and Masculinity
Transcript
Being a boy comes with a certain set of rules. How do you be one of the boys? Crying was very looked down upon and, and Your father was, My father was front and center with that. Yes, They have all these feelings and there’s nowhere for these feelings to go. They know it’s considered a feminine weakness. Boys work very, very hard to achieve a masculine identity, but that identity can be taken from them. Patriarchy’s, a deviously clever system. Men learn to escape by moving from shame to grandiosity. We teach them to disconnect from their feelings. We teach ’em to disconnect from vulnerability. Vulnerability is a missing link that men need to be truly powerful. To be a man means to be in the superior position. So any move toward democracy, which is toward equality, becomes a threat to manhood. And if manhood is threatened, violence is imminent. There’s a puzzle that we have to figure out. What’s happening right now is an opportunity for men to be human. To be completely trusted and vulnerable and not be judged is what helps me to becoming this new human being. Kindness and caring and loving. And how about those be the alpha traits? We’re trying to figure out how to be fully ourselves and fully connected at the same time. It’s the only thing that will really make us happy. We’re really disrupting some core foundational elements upon which our society is built, and that feels dangerous.